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Anonymous: One goal I met already was to tell someone about the details of my rape. I always feared that telling someone the specifics would lead to them telling me that it "wasn't really rape," but when I told my therapist she was very supportive and didn't blame or shame me at all! My next goal is to ask someone out on a date. I had never dated before I met my rapist, and being abused by her has kept me from pursuing romantic relationships I wanted. It's a big step.

selfcareafterrape:

I’m super glad that your therapist was understanding and supportive <3

and good luck with the asking someone out thing. 

I was always afraid of having my experience invalidated, too. finally sharing my story (the whole, many-chaptered novel that it was) with one of my friends was so incredibly healing. it’s amazing how powerful it is to rediscover my voice & to have people around me who support my growth.

I’ve had a lot of people tell me to “just be more confident!” & to stop apologizing or worrying about what other people think. Our culture really doesn’t tolerate insecurities, while also failing to think critically about why those insecurities might be there. After a literal life of being abused, shrinking around certain people & at certain times, apologizing profusely, & constantly worrying about another persyn might be thinking are things that I have developed as survival mechanisms. While they might not be advantageous in non-abusive relationships, they’re remnants from a painful part of my life & criticizing me for them doesn’t make overcoming them any easier.

What I need is to feel safe, & sometimes that requires that I ask for reassurance.

manicpixieriotgrrrl:

☆*:.。. public service announcement .。.:*☆ joey (pluralfloral) is a shining gem of a humyn being and the world needs to take note of him + follow his example :’)


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smidgetz:

Be good to yourself, cultivate yourself, protect your space.